My NEW YEAR'S REVOLUTION

Yes, you read that right! I SAID REVOLUTION, not resolution. You see, I have a wedding in 7 months and I need to lose around 30 lbs FAST. I guess I have until the end of this week to eat crap and then I'm going on the NEW YEAR'S revolution.

REVOLUTION: defined as: a drastic and far-reaching change in ways of thinking and behaving.

I am going to have to get a drastic change in the way I think and behave to lose 30 lbs in 7 months. I know I can do it. Other people can do it...why not me?

Every year I tell myself this...every year I say I'm going to get organized and accomplish great things. And every year ends with the same resolutions. That's why this year I'm changing it up a bit. I realized I didn't need a resolution, I need a REVOLUTION. So let's see if I can change my way of thinking...drastically.

Hope everyone has a safe, happy, healthy, and prosperous new year.

Happy 2009!

Hopes and Dreams for the New Year

I just dropped Jennifer and Patrick off at the train station which left me alone with my thoughts for a good 45 minutes to an hour on the drive back home. As I looked at the two of them, both college graduates, newly engaged, about to hop on a train to Chicago (where Patrick lives and Jen just visits) I thought to myself, "Oh, to be young with so much of their lives yet to live." You can usually find Jennifer with a Bride's magazine under her arm these days... planning her wedding is her new obsession.

Jordanne just sent out her "Save the date" cards and made her upcoming wedding "official". She has most of her wedding plans finalized already and the time is fast approaching for the start of their married life. Maybe knowing the fact that it was going to be our last Christmas with unmarried kids made this Christmas more special or cherished or savored. I just know that it will be different next year because they will be starting their own traditions and probably won't be sleeping at our house on Christmas morning. Even though Jen and Ryan have their own place, they both came home for Christmas Eve and slept here to be a part of the Christmas morning excitement. Anyways...next year will be different and that's okay too.

While I drove across M13 alone with my thoughts, I felt optimistic for the upcoming year. A new year always gives me a feeling of hope and encouragement...there's so much promise of what lies ahead... kinda like the feeling you get at the start of a new school year, or cracking open a brand new book. It occurred to me that if I was so calm and serene this Christmas because I was more organized, then imagine how exciting planning two weddings can be. Instead of having a feeling of dread (mainly worrying about how we will afford these weddings) I am going to embrace these days and enjoy the excitement with my girls. I am really looking forward to planning bridal showers and watching it all unfold.

Joshua has an exciting year ahead for him too, because right now is when the college football recruiters are trying to get him to pay an official visit to their school. The offers are starting and he will have to make a big decision where he wants to go to college pretty soon. He will have to get registered with the NCAA clearinghouse and make this dream a reality. He has to decide which field of study he wants to pursue and consider his options. Right now, he is saying he wants to go into Occupational Therapy, and it looks like our local university is going to be his best option (academically and financially). This is fine by me. He still wants to hear what kind of offers the other schools want to make and weigh out his options.

Ryan is busy filling out applications to grad school and will be having to make some decisions with his life pretty soon too. He may decide to move to Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo and have a fresh start to his second phase of his education. Right now he has been interning at a children's therapy place where they work with special needs kids. It has been nice to see him find his niche in life and I enjoy hearing about his journey along the way. I think he will be well suited as an Occupational therapist...that is, if he can finally pass his Anatomy and physiology class. (*wink...just kiddin' Ry.)

I hate to say it but I'm still having a hard time realizing that Jacob is growing up too fast. He is this giant man-child at 16 and seems to be spending an awful lot of time on his phone either talking or texting with his friends and girlfriend. (a girl I still have not officially met.) Boys are all about making the girl comfortable in their own space first before they bring them home to their crazy house with all the people around. Besides that, it might mean that Jake would have to actually clean his room in case Mady walked past his messy room on the way to the bathroom.

Anyways...my hopes and dreams for 2009??? Health, happiness, and a joy filled new year. A year of positive changes and prosperity. A year for Pat to feel secure in his job in the auto industry and for me to learn how to accept the changes that lie ahead. For God to richly bless us with His peace and grace. A year to cherish our family and grow in our faith.

...and on that note, I say a great big AMEN to that.

The Merriest Christmas EVER

Sometimes you just have to stop and take it all in. Life, I mean. As fast as this year has flown...this Christmas season I was able to s.l.o.w. down my life enough to really enjoy the season...it was so incredibly stress-free. A FIRST for me. Oh, in the seven years since my heart attack (Dec. 13th 2001) I have greatly reduced my stress level over Christmas. I have also realized that I thoroughly enjoy the things I do to make Christmas special... I just learned how to do them stress-free.

For example: I just can't get away from making ornaments... I don't have to make them...I enjoy making them. This year, me and the girls spent a wonderful day making our traditional yearly ornaments. We played fun Christmas music and sat at the dining room table until midnight making little elves. Likewise, I enjoy the day my friend Diane and I spend together making over a hundred paper bag snowmen ornaments for her students. I also make gingerbread boy hockey ornaments every year for my son's hockey teams. These ones I make after Christmas and give them to the parents for the New Year. (I will post pictures as soon as I figure it out.) It's just a part of my Christmas tradition.

Oops...I forgot to mention that I got my new camera for Christmas this year. I still haven't figured out how to plug it into my computer to show pictures...but the minute Jordy is free, she will teach me. (Jen and Jordy are both working the night shift tonight on the Eve of the Victoria's Secret SEMI-Annual Sale...the store will be crazier than the day after Thanksgiving shopping or the day after Christmas returns, and they have to make sure everything is stocked up.)

I made super yummy pretzels this afternoon. Oh these aren't just any ordinary "dipped" pretzels. These pretzels are double dipped in homemade caramel, then dipped in dutch milk chocolate, drizzled with white milk chocolate and sprinkled with crushed pecans. I did take a picture of them and will post the photos that will make your mouth drool. I'm not gonna lie...I hit it out of the ball park with these. Chances are...they will already be gone by the time I post the picture. Ryan and Jacob especially loved them.

Well, guess I'll go back to crocheting another scarf and watching my new addiction: DEXTER. I don't know why...but it's like watching a train wreck. It's so incredibly warped and creepy...I watched all of season two and now I'm going back to watch season one. The music even stands the hair on my neck.

http://www.sho.com/site/dexter/home.do

The funniest thing happened to me in Gordon's

I was out running errands yesterday and stopped into Gordon's Food Service to pick up a large package of yeast to make my dinner rolls. It was crazy -busy in there and I was too impatient to walk up and down every aisle to find it, so I stopped a worker and asked him to point me in the direction. He got down off his ladder to personally walk me to the spot. As we were walking down the aisle, an elderly man with white hair and a white beard was approaching us and our eyes briefly met with a twinkling in our eyes. I nodded and smiled with that "knowing" look in my eyes. He knew what I was thinking and quite frankly, in an instant I was a child again. The worker pointed to the yeast and I said, "that was the REAL Santa!!!" This kid was probably in his mid twenties and he looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. "huh?", he said. I was like, "you mean to tell me you didn't see that man approaching us with the white hair and beard? He was the real Santa, I just know it!!!" He didn't even know what to say.

Uh...whatever. Kids these days just don't know how to have REAL Christmas spirit. I swear I was smiling the rest of the day. Just the look in "Santa's" eyes was priceless. For a split second, we both embraced the moment of our youthfulness and the magic of Christmas was alive in our hearts.*sigh.

I bet he gets a lump of coal in his stocking.

Getting my "Joy" on...

I realize it's been a week since I last posted. I've been busy getting my "joy" on. I've been spending time with my family and friends, walking, shopping, going out for coffee/margaritas or lunch/dinner, crafting, baking, etc. It's been the most peaceful, joyful Christmas seasons ever. Somehow I just realized that it's not supposed to be crazy/chaotic... it's about taking time for the simple things, giving of your time and of yourself. I made a lot of ornaments and gifts this year...not only because I'm frugal, because I enjoy thinking of others while I labor over their gift. I'd show pictures but then it wouldn't really be a surprise to those who read my blog...besides, I don't really have a good camera anyways. I've been hoping to get a new camera for Christmas but if money doesn't allow, I'll be fine with that too. It's not something I desperately need.

Pat's last day of work was Thursday and he's off now until January 5th. It was good to hear the auto industry "loan" was approved finally...which is good for Pat's job. Let's hope this economy takes an upturn. Buy AMERICAN CARS!!!! Our jobs depend on it!

We got hit with a heckuva snowstorm and have been buried in snow around here. I'm not gonna lie...it's kind of fun to be stuck inside for the weekend. I'm going to go crank on the tunes and start getting down to business. (wrapping, baking, cleaning, etc.)

I will not let anything/anyone drown out my Christmas JOY. Four more days until Christmas!!! Woo Hooo!

Engaged!

Tonight my dear sweet Jennifer got engaged to Patrick, her boyfriend of over six years. They were high school sweethearts. She is absolutely giddy. She's in Chicago until tomorrow night... but she was talking to Jordanne on her webcam and flashed us her rock. All 1.1 carats of it!!! It's huge and very beautiful. I can't wait to see it in person.

Now we will be planning two weddings. I sure hope we win the lottery pretty soon...in the meantime, I'm going to bed. It's been a l.o.n.g. week.

Festive Change

Yep, I went ahead and changed my blog to make it a bit more festive...only thing is -I messed it all up...I can't figure out how to add my sidebar blog links. I don't know why they didn't convert in the changeover, but that would be my kind of luck. So now I have to ask Jordy how I get them all back. I am, as you know, totally technologically challenged.


So I've been up since 5 am... I made Pat's lunch and he went off to hockey practice. In the meantime I saw that our school was cancelled because of the snow. It's really strange because it's the only school in our city/township that is cancelled. I guess they got a freebie. Neighboring towns have closed, but only the parochial schools in our town get the day off. Too funny.


My bronchitis seems to be getting a little better. At least I'm not feeling like I was run over and dragged by a bus anymore. Oh the wonders of antibiotics. It was definitely a long weekend. We had our first hockey games this weekend too. They lost the first one and won the second game. (which is good when you live with the coach.) Jacob did a great job as a sophomore defenseman. It's still so weird to watch the games without Joshua playing. I'm sure it's very difficult for him too.

My brain is on overload with all the talks of job layoffs in the auto industry. I just cannot imagine what we would do if Pat's job was eliminated. People just don't understand how important this bailout package is. As if the auto industry wasn't in enough financial trouble...then they throw in out of control gas prices and wonder why nobody is buying cars/trucks/SUV's. Like it or not...people liked their big SUV's. I know I did. (before I traded down to my Saturn Aura) And suddenly it wasn't "cool" to drive "gas guzzling SUV's". (despite the fact that some people have large families or live in a climate where 4 wheel drive is a necessity.) Suddenly we have to be "green" and drive itty bitty hybrid cars. Shame on American car dealers for not seeing it coming. While they were busy building big cars (because that is what most of us wanted before the gas prices went up...isn't that called supply and demand?) now suddenly they are miles behind in technology because they don't offer itty bitty hybrids. I'm all for saving the planet, don't get me wrong... but I can't help but wonder if some of this "go green" frenzy didn't spark a bit of this vicious cycle regarding the downward spiral of the auto industry. Just a thought. And almost ironic how suddenly the price of gas has dropped to under $1.50/gallon... after the economy took a dive. Hmmm... it all makes me scratch my head. All I can do is pray that God has all the bases covered...I know I can't wrap my mind around how to fix it.

So I'll just dig a little happy hole and stick my head into it...surrounding myself with happy thoughts of good tidings and Christmas cheer. We sure need a Savior. I wonder if that was the original plan? If times never got rough, some of us would never recognize the need for HIM?

Decking the Halls

Well, today I am finally going to DECORATE my Christmas tree that has been standing in the corner naked since Sunday. Jen came over to put on the lights and apparently one set decided to "follow the light" leaving me short a set. I went to Hobby Lobby to buy two new sets, came home only to realize that the wiring was white instead of green. Ugh. So yesterday I went to Lowe's and bought the right ones. White lights with green wiring. YES! Now I'm in business.

Gotta get our stockings hung on the mantle and "festive up" the place. You know, since it is ST. NICK'S DAY tomorrow. This is a tradition we have kept since the kids were quite young. (except for last year, it was overlooked for some crazy reason) The night before Saint Nicholas Day, children place their shoes in a prominent location--say, by a fireplace, or outside their bedroom door. The next morning--usually very early--the children find their shoes filled with little presents from the great saint. I think this is primarily a Catholic tradition... although it is celebrated all over the world in various ways. Anyways... we celebrate this tradition with our kids... It's a part of our Advent preparation.

... and yes, Virginia... St. Nicholas was a real person and his spirit lives on in those who BELIEVE. If you don't believe me, google him.

Comfort and Joy

I woke up this morning with the phrase "Comfort and Joy" in my head. Hmmm...what exactly did they mean by "tidings of comfort and joy" anyway? So I got to thinking about what "comfort and joy" means to me and how I can evoke these feelings during this blessed Christmas season. com·fort
1 : to give strength and hope to : cheer
2 : to ease the grief or trouble of : console

joy:
1 a: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight b: the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety
2: a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
3: a source or cause of delight

Well I guess when you break it down...it's seems easy enough to attain the pursuit of "comfort and joy"... when you apply the definitions to your life.

Most people associate the word "comfort" with food or a feeling of well-being as in enjoying the comfort of your favorite sweat pants or your favorite chair. In all honesty though, during Christmas the word "comfort" is more of an action than a feeling. It's about giving strength and hope to others around us who are hurting. Spreading Christmas cheer in a world darkened by gloom and doom. Recognizing the fact that the gifts we've been given are not purchased with dollars but by a birth of a Savior who has given us the gift of salvation: a gift purchased with His very life.

The word "joy" is derived from the word "rejoice". In the Bible we are told to "rejoice in the Lord always" (Phil 4:4) which is more of an action than a feeling. The very idea of "Joy" being "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires" seems to reduce the action to a self-absorbed feeling we can experience if we get what we want. The fault of this way of thinking is that most people still never experience real joy that comes from God (abiding joy) even when they attain "success, good fortune", or getting what they think are "their desires". They experience a temporal joy. The Bible tells us to "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". (Psalm 37:4) If we align our thinking with HIS, we will find our desires are not monetary, but of things eternal.

So perhaps God put this little phrase in my head this morning so I would go on my little quest to discover a way to evoke these feelings throughout the Christmas season, only to discover that in order to experience "Comfort and Joy" I must first take action by giving comfort and solace to others and to act upon Paul's exhortations telling us to "Rejoice in the Lord always". We can't allow the dark realities of life blind us to the radiance of joy found in the Lord. We first have to trust that He will be faithful if we trust Him with all the details.

Trust is an action. Faith is an action. Comfort is an action. Joy is derived from the action of Rejoicing. Wow. That's some pretty powerful stuff coming from a mother who tells her kids they are accountable for their actions. I guess I better take some action if I'm going to drink from the cup of Comfort and Joy.
In the meantime, I think I'll go crank up some Christmas Cheer and sing my heart out while I bake up some yummies.

Almond Joy to the World
Makes 2 dozen candies
4 cups shredded coconut
1/2 cup light corn syrup
Whole roasted almonds
1 (12-ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate pieces
1/4 cup vegetable oil
Line cookie sheet with wax paper. Place coconut in large bowl; set aside.
In a glass measuring cup, microwave corn syrup until boiling, about 45 seconds. Pour hot syrup over coconut and knead with a wooden spoon until coconut is saturated.
Shape into bite-size rectangles, place an almond on top and refrigerate for 15 minutes. (You can refine shape of candies after they have been in the refrigerator.)
Meanwhile, melt chocolate and shortening in a double boiler or microwave until melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool slightly. Use a fork to dip each candy into chocolate, then refrigerate on wax-paper-lined cookie sheet until chocolate is hardened. Store in an airtight container.

Thankful Sunday

I'm thankful for a long holiday weekend...for all of my kids to be home for Thanksgiving dinner...(including both of the girl's boyfriends and Ryan's girlfriend.) I'm thankful that Pat put up the Christmas lights and that we already got our Christmas tree today! The house smells so good...nothing like a fresh cut spruce tree. I got all my Christmas cards addressed and ready for mailing...Let me tell you...this is A FIRST! For all this wonderful organization, I am thankful. Sorry Sheila..."I'm kicking your Christmas ass!"

I know, all this before December first. I am quite shocked myself. Tomorrow the tree will be trimmed and Jennifer and I will be going out to do some shopping. We are trying to decide what kind of ornaments we want to make this year. Sounds like a fun little trip to Hobby Lobby.

Today we are getting dumped on with snow. It's so beautiful outside, even though it really stinks to drive in. (Oh, I am sooooo missing my SUV with 4WD!!!) My new car only has front wheel drive and it's so hard to get used to. It's not all that bad, but there is a sense of security in a big SUV. Darn those gas prices!

The desktop computer still isn't fixed but I'm feeling a little better about it today. I can't bring back all the kid's lost papers and pictures, but we will all have our own flash drives from now on so we can back everything up. Ugh. A lesson learned.

Jacob went over to Mady's house today. I'm not ready for him to have a girlfriend. It really makes me sad to think my little boy (who is 6'3) is not so little anymore. I guess I can't stop the inevitable...I mean, he IS adorable if I do say so myself.

I'm also very thankful to be approaching the 7 year mark post massive heart attack. Every December I am humbly reminded of that fateful day that I was struck with a 2 inch blood clot in my LAD artery while shopping in the mall. I (stupidly) drove myself down the street to the Ambulatory care Hospital and walked into that place as white as a sheet. A trip in the ambulance to the main hospital, clot busting drugs en route, angioplasty with 6 STENTS, and two cardioversions later...(including two near death experiences) I am thankful to be here to tell about it. Every year at this time, I am reminded of how precious life is. God is good. He knew I had more to do here on earth and has given me a second chance at life. Let's just hope I can do it right this time.

...Oh, and another thing I'm thankful for?

ELECTRICITY!



...because at 10:00 last night in the middle of composing my "thankful Sunday" post...the transformer blew and our entire neighborhood was left in total darkness. All night. And all morning until 12:30 this afternoon. It was a Silent Night and a remarkably enlightening beginning to my Advent Sunday. Perhaps that "awakening" will be the topic of my next post.



...in the meantime, I'm going to put another log on the fire and go make myself some coffee and toast. I now have a whole new appreciation for how the Amish live.

I got a virus

Let me just say one thing: I HATE COMPUTERS!!!! We went out shopping early this Black Friday morning to go to one store: OFFICE MAX...to get NORTON 360 Virus Security. I have spent the entire day trying to fix/remove a virus off our computers and I must say...I am not a member of the Geek Squad, that's for sure. I have seriously wasted a good day only to destroy all the files on my computer and now it's not usuable anymore. I am sooooo stupid. I wanted to back up all my files but didn't have an external hard drive because Pat convinced me he could get one from work. (They have a pile of them they are getting rid of because they just updated theirs.) Okay, okay...I can't exactly blame Pat...but now we have lost all of our pictures and documents because I was trying to be all smartypants. I just decided to reinstall Windows XP. I can't hurt it any more than I already have. UGH. I feel like Charlie Brown, I'm such a loser.

Thank Goodness the laptop just got fixed, although it wouldn't surprise me if this one got sick too. What the heck???

Randomness

The boys lost in overtime in the Semifinals...it was a huge disappointment but how many teams can say they had back to back state championships and numerous district and regional wins? It would have been nice to get to Ford Field once again... especially since it would mean all 3 of my boys had played in State Finals... but oh well, better luck next year.

It's snowing like crazy outside again today...and slushy roads make a momma nervous. It's one of those days you are happy to be inside with a roaring fire and a mug of hot cocoa. I hope Pat gets right on that roaring fire when he gets home.

My mind is racing to make up my Christmas list before the kickoff of the shopping season. None of the kids have really told me what they want or need, but I can assure them that the money will not go nearly as far as it has in the past. It's good to remember that it's not about the presents anyways. I do always like to cover a few bases from necessities, to fun things, to clothing attire and have probably spoiled them all once a year with far too many gifts from us, ""Santa", and grandparents... It's no wonder Christmas is such a magical time for them...even if they are all grown or tower over us.

It is in these moments when we must reflect on the things that really matter: Health, happiness, and all our basic needs being met. We have so much to be Thankful for and on this slushy Monday, I have decided to Chose to be Thankful.

TGIF

gee, I wished I looked that cute while I cleaned!

Yup, this is how I've been feeling lately.

Can't wait to crank up this bad boy and fire on some burgers or steaks for dinner. (okay...it's not my grill and we don't quite have that much snow...but you get the idea...) I need a camera for Christmas.

Thank God it's Friday! I got a little cleaning bug in me today...My house desperately needs it. I guess I've been a little preoccupied with life... Been doing some Christmas shopping...paying bills and getting things filed and shredded...after all we went through in October...I'm trying to divert my thoughts by crocheting...and then of course, the housework gets neglected... then I lay in bed at night and think of everything I need to do in the morning...it makes me crazy. It's no wonder I often find myself sleeping on the couch for the diversion of television. I swear all I have to do is turn it on and I'm zonked out. It's just enough to shut off all the demands in my mind and then I'm gone. (which is an incredible waste of electricity.)

Over the past few days I was feeling achy all over...I don't know if it's a flubug , costochondritis, or fibromyalgia... all I know is that I feel funky and would rather not do anything but sit in the hot tub...hmmm, maybe I will do that FIRST. I think I deserve a little soak. I have a burning sensation (like incredibly over exerted muscles) in my chest wall. Nothing like the pain of my heart attack...more like an exhausted muscle fatigue. It's in my neck, chest, and in my back across my shoulder blades. My joints/muscles in my elbows, knees, hands and feet are also feeling achy along with a nagging headache. It really doesn't feel like the flu... Anyways...I will pop an ibuprofen, soak, and carry on like I usually do. No time to be held down.

BUT Earlier today I had a little shot of caffeine in me and was zipping around sweeping and picking up and doing laundry. Ah...a woman's work is never done. What on earth am I making for dinner tonight?

No doubt it'll be something simple like burgers on the grill (it's snowing outside!) or steaks...neither one is thawed but thank heaven for microwave thawing features! I'm sure I can put together something edible.

Well, back to work...maybe I'll treat myself to the hot tub later tonight. Gotta run and get our tickets to the football game tomorrow. We are in the Michigan High school State Championship SEMI- FINALS and we play at 1:00. It's gonna be a cold one again like last year. (we played the same team at the same field last year.) Hope we've got what it takes to pull off the win.

Go Panthers!

Feeling a little under the weather...

It snowed here yesterday. It was one of those light, fluffy snows that never really amounts to anything other than a light dusting on the ground and gives you the feeling that "Christmas is right around the corner"; a feeling which floods me with a ton of mixed emotions. It's sometimes a feeling of sadness of "where on earth has the year gone?", but also a feeling of excitement and hope that people will soon be spreading "tidings of comfort and joy". I am often overcome with feelings of angst worrying about all the added expenses of winter from buying Christmas gifts to higher heating bills. I am often caught in the hustle and bustle of the holiday that I forget to stop and enjoy the beauty in the silence and the sheer enjoyment of giving of ourselves. I am often hit with a little bit of insomnia only because my crafty mind is in overdrive and wants to spend the season creating the perfect gift.

I love Christmas and making it a special holiday for my family...and I am hopeful that I can have the bulk of my shopping done before the beginning of December so I can craft and enjoy the season in its entirety. Had to laugh though...JoAnn Fabrics is already playing Christmas music...before THANKSGIVING!!! Oh people... I can't begin to tell you just how wrong that is on so many levels. Let's first give THANKS to the Lord...and then Celebrate HIS birth and His purpose in our lives.

Bring on the Turkey!

Back on the field

All Photographs and digital effects done by Jordanne.


Josh and Coach Boyd after the game.

Contemplative.

Brothers discussing the game.

The four captains back on the field together...post injury.

The three troubadors getting on their game face. Murphy, Jacob, and Joshua.

Okay...these pictures are not in the order I wanted them and for some reason Blogger is being all weird and will not allow me to arrange these how I wanted them for "the effect".ANYWAYS...

Yes, we are STILL playing football. We are just one game away from playing in the State Championship game at FORD FIELD. This will be Joshua's THIRD time if they can pull it off. Ironically, the game next weekend is the same team they played last year and advanced to Ford Field. Let's hope we can do it again.

So last week Joshua decided he needed some closure after having a season-ending injury. He did not want his memories of high school football to end with an injury. He talked to his dad and to his football coach and told them that he wanted to dress for his last "home game" at Boyd Field. This was a huge mental thing for Josh...it also played out to be a HUGE mental thing for the team. To see their captain dressed and back on the field was moving and inspirational to say the least. The coach promised Josh that he would put him on the field for a single play at the end of the game... I must admit I freaked out a bit. I was afraid someone would try to hit Josh and undo his ACL reconstruction.

There was less than a minute left in the game and we were on defense. (which Josh plays) They put Josh off in the corner and the other team had a man over there by him...the ball came his way and Josh tied the man up without actually touching him...the kid missed his assignment and we intercepted the ball. Game over. We won 35-10. Josh got an assist on the interception. It was an incredibly emotional ending to the game. Josh got the closure he needed.

He is finding out just "who he is"... Sometimes God has an interesting way of showing us what we're made of.

my oh my, where have I been?

Well folks...I have been on a computer meltdown sabbatical. MY COMPUTERS were all functioning at an incredibly s.lo.w. rate of speed and I, being exceptionally IMPATIENT...well, I opted for the easier route: Total blog withdrawl. I'm not gonna lie...I really missed spilling my guts to my blog. I really did...but I did what I had to do to get through this little crisis. I pouted until Pat took the laptop into work to be fixed. Yep, I'm not even one bit ashamed to admit it. I used the womanly art of persuasion. I told him I had no time to sit around on a super s.l.o.w. computer waiting for files to load so I could not enroll in our new benefits package until the computer was fixed. (oh, we had until the 14th...which happens to be TOMORROW!) So guess what I did when he walked in the door with the fixed laptop?????*wink, wink. Well I sat down and enrolled in our new benefits package, ya doofus! What did you think I was gonna say?

Now I have NO EXCUSE to miss more than a few days of blogging. I missed my daily fix of purging. Yes, as gross as that sounds...Purging my inner system is how I think of blogging. I am unloading and reloading daily. It's cathartic to say the least.

So what have I been up to lately? Hmmm well I have been sitting on my butt in my delightfully large yellow chair and ottoman. While I sit there, I have been watching medical television programs like "Dr. G- Medical examiner", "Mystery Diagnosis", and some real-life Trauma in the ER show that escapes me right now. I have been watching "What Not to Wear" and any decorating show that suits my fancy as well as "Jon and Kate plus 8", "Little People, Big World" some woman with elephant huge legs, and the world's grossest fat man. (oh I'm sorry, but he.was.gross.) I sure wish I could say it deterred me from eating, but all I did was turn the channel after I couldn't stand it any longer. ANYWAYS- my point is that I've watched anything BUT news programs relating to the recent elections because, quite frankly...it's OVER and my ass is tired. (did I just say that???)

While my tired ass sat in that over-sized yellow chair, I sorted, filed, and shredded paperwork that has piled up in mass quantities all around in cute little baskets, files, drawers, bins, etc. I have been procrastinating (yes, kids...procrastination is an inherited gene) and putting my head in the sand for a l.o.n.g. time and I finally had to come up for air. I'm still not done completely, but I have made a huge dent in my "hotspots". (for anyone who does the "flylady" method of housework you will know what I mean.) In between sorting and filing and listening to anything but NEWS programs...I have whipped up several scarves on my little coffee breaks. I seriously set goals and alloted myself small chunks of time to "play". It was totally needed to keep my sanity. Today I have taken care of a few loads of laundry while I parked my butt in the big yellow chair. Oh, and I finished another scarf for a special someone who shall remain nameless in case she is reading this.

Two days ago I treated myself to a "Connie Day". I went and got my hair cut ($46 with tip, is that INSANE????) I splurged on a Junior whopper and a dollar menu onion ring... I sat in a yarn store for over an hour, fondling yarn and reading crochet books in search of the the perfect scarf pattern. Then I left there and went to a heavenly little bakery and bought Pat a boston creme eclair and a small box of "num-licious" cookies to share with my kiddos.

Jen took Josh's senior pics and they were so good, I will not be able to pick my favorite ones. This was only just one photo shoot. When she gets back from Chicago, she will be doing more outdoor pics and then the studio shots. Feel free to check them out on her website: http://www.photographie51.com/. Click on "Enter the website" and then click on portfolio...Under Online proofs click on Joshua F. You don't have to type in a password for his. There are so many to chose from, I'm having a hard time weeding them out.

I have not been sleeping well lately and have been snoring like a fool when I do. I have been exceptionally crabby and headachey and disgusted with a lot of things. (I am happy about the price of gas coming down, though). Pat's paycheck was a thousand dollars short because of the workman's comp. claim when he blew his biceps tendon AT WORK...it seems a little crappy that a man would work right through his lunch break to get a job done and gets injured while working and it suddenly costs us a grand for him to be going through all this pain and suffering as well as the copays for doctor appointments and the surgery to repair it. Um, yeah...something's wrong with this picture and they haven't heard the end of it yet. I was thinking maybe they should be a little bit "nicer" to a certain worker when they get injured on the job and cannot work for a few weeks while they are "repairing" their injured arm.

Well...now that I have blathered on and on about all that upsets me and/or makes me happy...(did I say how much I love that sense of accomplishment when I can cross things off my "to-do" list? or how much I enjoy crocheting a scarf or a dish cloth? Or how happy I am that it only costs me $25 instead of $50 to fill my tank?)

Oh dear Lord, have patience with me. I know I'm a WIP. (work in progress)

*By the way... I still have not found the missing camera otherwise I'd be posting pictures of my adorable scarves instead of a picture of some poor soul's pile of paperwork that makes my pileup a little less daunting.

Happy 16th birthday, Jake!

Jacob and Josh all dressed up for homecoming.

Well, my little man is now the tallest man in my house. He's right around 6'4"... just a tad taller than Josh and Ryan. Jacob just turned 16 on Sunday and he is officially "allowed to date". Heaven help us all. Jake is loved by everyone... guys and girls alike...he is a very sweet kid and has always been special in his own way. Jacob has always been a very spiritual and prayerful kid...he loves God and isn't afraid to proclaim his faith...as a matter of fact, we always thought he might grow up to be a priest. Then puberty hit. 'Nuff said. First thing he said to me was, "does this mean I can have a girlfriend?" Oh bless you, my child.

We celebrated Jake's birthday with a family dinner and birthday cake. We got him the NCAA '09 video game for his X-Box. He disappeared for the rest of the night to play the game with his bro on the big screen TV downstairs. The cake was simply delicious...some triple chocolate threat I bought at Sam's club.

I still haven't fixed our computers. They are running extremely slow and aggravate the heck out of me. I haven't found my digital camera either. I cannot imagine where it went. My washing machine is leaking water from underneath. Right now it's up on some wood blocks so we can put a pan underneath it to catch the drips and the dryer takes for-ever to dry anything. (usually two dryer cycles per load.) It seems like everything is breaking down and I am on the verge myself. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The weather has been beautiful and it is the only thing I can say positive about this week right now. I am just sick about the outcome of this election and the fact that both of the Michigan Proposals have passed. I am turning off the television and immersing myself in some projects to take my mind off this tumultuous world we live in. All I can say is thank God He is in control.

Random things I'm addicted to and other observations

So I've decided that blogging is much easier on me if I imagine I am only writing in my own little "dear diary"... after all, this is my blog where I'm able to spill my guts, muse about daily events, document special happenings with my family, projects I've been working on, etc... all for some future entertainment for my kids to read back to me when I'm in the nursing home. (oh dear God, please don't put me in a nursing home!) Let's just say, you can read it back to me when I'm old.
ANYWAYS....

That being said, I realize family members, friends, online friends, and total strangers peek in now and then...and I'm totally okay with that- but... if I imagine I'm writing for a specific audience... I am not necessarily "spilling my guts" without reservations. So I'm just gonna close my eyes and pretend nobody's there.

Random observations and musings:

I have decided that I really have an addictive type personality.
Right now I am addicted to:

Fox News on TV and on XM radio. Lately it's all I listen to and have since the Presidential conventions began. It's on in my car at all times. (unless my kids are riding with me...they crank on some whiny ass country music that makes my ears bleed.) Anyways...this Fox News "fair and balanced" media fixation will be coming to an end real soon. I will probably turn it all off the day after the elections. Especially if "my guy" doesn't win. I'm a sore loser like that.

My other addiction:
Crocheting. I cannot begin to explain how soothing and calming it is to my crazy life that primarily exists in my scrambled head. I have crocheted a bazillion dishcloths and now today I made my first scarf. It turned out awesome and Jordanne just walked out the door wearing it. It was made out of Lion brand Homespun yarn. It was quick and fun and so relaxing. I am seriously thinking about taking a run to Walmart to buy some more yarn. I'm addicted.

I am also slightly addicted to Tim Horton's hot apple cider. Some days I have to resist the urge to run out and buy one. I can generally quell the impulse by having a cup of my other addiction, which is coffee. I cannot live without it. (I drink half caff so it's not a physical caffeine addiction I'm dealing with here.)

And this week's temporary food addiction is Mrs. N's sugar cookies. MMMM mmmm. I frosted them in autumn colors and sprinkles...and when I ran out of powdered sugar, I melted white chocolate and frosted some with that. So anyhow...the white chocolate ones are tormenting me. They are seriously calling my name and like a herioin addict, I am drawn...drawn, drawn to the little BEASTS. I gave Jen and Josh a bunch of them today to take to the Notre Dame game tailgate party. (but alas, I hoarded those white chocolate frosted ones.) They should be all gone by tomorrow. Thank goodness there are others in this house who are addicted to them too or I'd be an even bigger fatty boomba-latty than I am now.

I have also decided that I am addicted to Chinese food. Anything Chinese sounds delicious any time of the day. Right now I am craving an eggroll and some crabcheese. I just ate at my favorite Chinese restaraunt yesterday for Pete's sake. What is in Chinese food that is so addictive anyways?

Over the years I have had odd food addictions and I've decided there are definitely some nutritional needs in the body that sparks a craving. Such as addictions to eggs, grapefruit, raw lemons with salt, tomatoes, cucumbers, liverwurst and toast, dried apricots and PRUNES!!!!!!?????? You know I'm quite certain I was just listening to my body when I indulged in thes odd cravings. Must be some vitamin I was lacking like iron or potassium or something.

Other times I have been addicted to websurfing the internet, listening to Christian music, reading mystery novels, exercising (gosh, I wish I'd get that addiction back), sewing, painting, crafting, just to name a few.

Glad they aren't bad addictions like smoking, drinking, sex, or gambling. I guess I'm a discerning addict.

I wish I was addicted to folding laundry because that's what I need to be doing right now.

Missing my camera

I know I have been whining about how much I want a new digital camera...but now I have lost my old one! NOBODY seems to know where it went. ARGH!!! I wanted to take some pictures of my latest serenity fixation: crocheting dishcloths! Okay, shuddup...I know this is a craft reserved for the elderly and arthritic BUT I find it to be soothing and mindnumbing and quite frankly, it's saving my sanity. (*By the way...this is a web pic, not my own since I had no camera to photograph mine.)

I've made them in a multitude of colors and plan to give some out for Christmas gifts. I just wish I could find some more fun bright colors in cotton yarn. Mine are red, yellow, orange, beige, and white... still searching for blue and green yarn.

I can't believe it's almost November! Where on earth has this entire month gone? Uh...save the fact that I've been at a zillion doctor's appointments this month...

I'm getting excited to start Christmas shopping...you know, dumping money back into this dying economy before it COMPLETELY goes in the tank. One little problem... My money tree hasn't bloomed yet this year and seems it's been hit by an early frost. *sniff. I guess I will be giving out a LOT of crocheted dish cloths this year. Maybe I should google crocheted socks, scarves, and mittens too.

Tuesday catch up

Yesterday was the day that Pat and Josh went back into the "real world". I think it was best for both of them to resume their lives, although I must admit, sometimes it's nice to take a break from the "real world".

Josh went right from school to physical therapy and he called me on his way to double check the time. While I had him on the phone, I asked him how his day went. He seemed a bit agitated and a little down and told me he'd talk when he got home.

The kid who walked in the door was NOT the same kid I spoke to after school. He burst into the door calling "Mom, Mom, look what I can do!!!" As he limped into the kitchen minus the crutches. I was in shock! I never expected him to be walking without crutches so soon after his ACL reconstruction. His therapists were very impressed with his progress and obviously encouraged him to continue his positive attitude and tenacity. It was nice to see him so happy and hopeful for his recovery. I was pretty worried that he might fall into a little depression considering this is a kid who has played sports since he was 3 years old. Now I realize it's going to be a long winter of rehabilitation, but having the right mental attitude is half the battle.

EW!!!!!

You know that cute, cuddly little puppy picture a few posts back? Well that dear sweet teddy bear cuddler is not what he pretends to be. He is a bonafide bunny killer! I realize he is but a mere animal himself...but for some reason we like to think our domestic pets are above KILLING innocent bunnies, squirrels, birdies, etc. To think I've shared an ice cream cone with this sweet cuddly bundle of fur!

This morning Pat let the dog out for his morning romp...I was getting ready to head out the door for my morning walk and I happened to glance out the kitchen window. The dog was perched above a dead rabbit with blood and guts on his face. EW. EW. EW!!!!! I called the dog in the house to get him away from the dead bunny. I threw him into the shower to disinfect him with Suave for men antibacterial body wash. (So much for his foo-foo showers with Victoria's Secret Very Sexy shampoo and conditioner.)

When the water hit his face, a chunk of bunny fur plopped off his face! EW! I am so totally skeeved out! I just cannot even look at my puppy in the same way! YUCK!!!!! Pat went outside with a shovel to remove the bunny and he said the dog had been eating the bunny's face! He got a taste of bunny blood and now he'll never be the same! GROSS!

I spent the morning worrying that he was going to barf bunny face all over my floor.

Update

Josh had his surgery on Tuesday morning and everything went well. They kept him overnight and I stayed with him. I don't care how old you are...you still want your mom when you're not feeling well, if you're exhausted and overwhelmed, etc. I know this because I just had my mom visiting this past weekend and it was so nice to have her here...in the middle of all this chaos. Pat is still out of work with his biceps tendon surgery...he's been cleared to return to work on MONDAY. Jennifer was having pain in her side which indicated a possibility of gall stones, although all the bloodwork and ultrasound showed no gall bladder involvement. We still don't know what is causing her right sided pain, but I was relieved to find out it wasn't ANOTHER surgery. Josh will be cleared to go back to school on Monday too. This week he'll be laying low. I'm exhausted after spending all night with Josh in the hospital. He's crabby and irritable from all the pain meds and I'm crabby and tired from not getting any sleep. I think I'm going to sleep while he's sleeping...just like the good 'ol days when he was a little baby. *sigh. I only wish I was as young as I was then.

I want his life!

For any of you who ever wondered what your dog does while you're away...well, folks- we've got an exclusive. We caught our puppy red handed. This, my friends... is the life of an extremely pampered primadonna Lhasa Apso. I was doing some housework and left the house abruptly to pick up a kid. This is what we returned to. Notice The teddy bear's hand on Duke's head as if to say, "There, there...everything will be all right."
Don'tcha ever feel like just cuddling up with a teddy bear and taking a nap?

Josh had his doctor's appointment yesterday. The athletic trainer from school even came to his appointment. At one point there was 9 people in the room to see the freakshow. Josh in the wings waiting for surgery and Pat in a sling 5 days post surgery. They are starting Josh on some rehab BEFORE surgery to get him stronger for his recovery. The doctor couldn't believe how well he has progressed. The kid has a torn ACL and a meniscus tear and he's prancing in without a limp, swinging a cane, and asking for surgery tomorrow. Yeah...well, as I said...he's starting some rehab and will probably get scheduled on the books for surgery in a few weeks.

Just as I was writing this post...Dr. W's office called and said they would do his surgery on TUESDAY morning. As in 6 days! Oh my gosh, Josh is going to be thrilled when he hears this news.

things I love about AUTUMN in Michigan

...The colors here in Michigan are beautiful. I love Fall. I love bright orange pumpkins and colorful mums and autumn leaves scattered on the bright green grass. I love the smell of fall in the air. I love hot apple cider and donuts, caramel apples and the taste of a crisp Michigan grown apple. Days like today make me sit back and count my blessings. There are so many things to be thankful for. Especially line-dried sheets in October. *sigh.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

"Thankful" Josh Groban

Somedays we forget

To look around us

Somedays we can't see

The joy that surrounds us

So caught up inside ourselves

We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be.

And on this day we hope for

What we still can't see.

It's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves

There's so much sorrow

It's way too late to sayI'll cry tomorrow

Each of us must find our truth

It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And every day we hope for

What we still can't seeIt's up to us to be the change

And even though we all can still do more

There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences

There is a place we're all connected

Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for

What we know can be

And on this day we hope for What we still can't see

It's up to us to be the change

And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

Wow, I can't believe it's Friday

Jake leading his team on the field wearing Josh's jersey.
The captains.
... #33 making the tackle.
...#33 with a nice block taking down two guys at once.
*I did not take these pictures because I did not have a camera.



Now this is what I want:

I can get this at Sam's Club.

This is one that Jennifer has and highly recommends for me. Hmmm...now I wonder what the difference between the two are? I would think 8 megapixels would be better than 7.1?

I haven't blogged all week. It's been a crazy week around here...from helping Josh cope with his incredible loss and Pat's bicep surgery on Wednesday...I've been busy playing nurse to my two injured family members, answering phonecalls, preparing ice packs, food, and passing out vicodin, Motrin and fiber laxatives. (that Vicodin is binding, you know.)

Last night we went to conferences for the boys. It sounds like they are doing pretty well in school considering the fact that Josh got a little behind this week after he missed 3 days. Then we went to Jacob's football game. Jacob was wearing Josh's jersey for the game. It brought tears to my eyes to see Jake in jersey #33...He looked just like his brother, his best friend, his hero. Last night, Jake dedicated his game to Josh. Last night he played just as big as Josh. He had an amazing game. They won 49-12 or something like that. (gee, can you tell I wasn't paying attention to the score?) Josh was in crutches on the sidelines alongside Ryan in a knee brace, (who is one of the O-line coaches) and there is little brother Jake (who is taller than his older brothers, by the way...) standing there in Josh's jersey looking like a beast. I tell you it was a Kodak moment and me, the mother of TWO PHOTOGRAHERS, without a camera!

Have I told you what I wanted for my birthday? Perhaps one day I will go out and buy it for myself. See above.

Teaching our kids a lesson

Now before you get the wrong idea...I'm not saying this with a negative connotation. I truly mean this in all seriousness.



...This conversation sort of came about today while I was driving Josh to get the MRI on his knee. I didn't send him to school because I had a feeling Dr. W's office would call and have an emergency opening and we'd have to react fast. I was right. They called at 10:10 to get him in for a 10:30 MRI appointment. After we left the hospital, we headed over to Dr. W's office for an x-ray. We go back at 4:30 to hear the results and speak with the Doctor.



In the meantime, as we were driving home, the dialogue began. Josh informed me that he felt sick to his stomach. It's the fear of the UNKNOWN that was unsettling to him. He is an incredibly gifted athlete and has always come through with the BIG PLAYS during very tight games. He has the mind of a champion and has wrapped his identity around his athleticism. Of course, in the big scheme of things...one might dispute just how much does this matter?...but in HIS WORLD, it matters a whole lot. His college choices are riding on which schools recruit him. His hopes and dreams are wrapped up in playing collegiate football like his big brother. His teammates are counting on him as their fearless leader. His dad is counting on his contribution on the high school hockey team. What if? What if? WHAT IF?



So I calmly spoke words of wisdom to my son. I told him about having faith in God and trusting in God's provisions for our lives. I encouraged him to give the situation over to the Lord who already knows the plans He has for our lives.



I spoke of situations in my life that have been those "testing our faith" kinds of moments. Like going an entire 9 months wondering if our child would be born healthy despite a blood test that indicated otherwise. Like going through a heart attack and a stroke and wondering why God allowed this to happen to me. Like recently having an abnormal mammogram and facing the reality that it might be the "C-word". In every situation, I gave it over to God and He never let me down.



Yes, there have been countless times in my life where I had to put my FAITH to the test...where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. Instead of just giving God lip-service by saying "WE BELIEVE"... we have to actually give it all to God in total surrender and BELIEVE God has it all under control... and He never gives us more than we can handle.



It was a very gut-level real conversation which invoked teary eyes in both of us. I told Josh that prayer changes things and we have to believe that if it's God's will, He will spare Josh of a serious career-ending injury...so for now, we pray and wait to hear the results of the MRI. By the same token, if it ends up being more serious, then Josh will learn how to live with whatever comes his way through his faith in God. When all was said and done, I put his mind at ease, knowing that he can face whatever adversities that come his way with God on his side. It was one of those little life-lessons that we could never choreograph- you just have to seize every opportunity to teach them about the Father's love when the time arises.

Well 4:30 came and it was time to hear the prognosis. The doctor suggested draining the fluid out of the knee and then proceeded to show us the results of the MRI on the computer screen. Dr. W very delicately broke the news to us: A torn ACL and a medial meniscus tear. My heart hurt for Josh. He was devastated. This is the end of his senior year of sports. No more football, no hockey season, no track. He's hurting both physically and emotionally and my heart breaks for his loss. His football and hockey buddies are devastated too. He's a vital part of both teams. His friend Kelsey came over with a plate of brownies and a shoulder to lean on. She had the same injury last basketball season and just got released to play. It was a 6-7 month recovery from the surgery. Josh has to wait until the swelling goes down before his surgery. (probably in a few weeks.)

In the meantime, Pat gets surgery on his torn biceps tendon tomorrow morning. He will have a 4 month recovery. Won't the three of them be a sight on the bench during hockey season? Pat in a sling, Ryan (assistant coach) with a knee brace and Josh with a knee brace.

I think we should get a wing at Dr. W's office don't you?

Homecoming pics

Jake and Josh on their way out the door. Jake and all his sophomore football buddies skipped taking dates and went to Hooters before the dance.

Josh, Ellen, and KING Ben. These three kids went from Kindergarten through 12th grade together. Get a load of that house in the background. What a beautiful setting to take pictures.
Josh and Nathan...the two football players with knee injuries.

Josh and his date Justine...notice the crutches laying on the grass. He's got a knee brace on and is gimping along. What a pair. She just got out of the hospital with kidney stones. Talk about making the best of a bad situation.

The entire Homecoming Court and their dates.