update on the song

I found this while "googling": (re: Viva la Vida song by Coldplay)

To answer the question "Does it have something to do with Christianty?" Yes of course. Historically speaking this song touches upon the British Empire in which Christianty thrived. The song's message is identical to Jesus's quote “My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.” (John 18:36)

The song has reference to the crusades/revolution...it paints the picture of the material world. There are many Biblical references/passages in the song. (such as:)

>>And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand<<

I believe this refers to: Matthew 7:24

The Wise and Foolish Builders
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

>>Be my mirror, my sword and shield <<

I believe this reference is found all over, especially in Psalms:

Passage Psalm 18:30:
As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

Passage Psalm 17:13:
Rise up, O LORD, confront them, bring them down;
rescue me from the wicked by your sword.

Oh, I could spend all day doing a Bible study on the possible meaning of the lyrics of this song. I think I've decided it's not slamming Christianity so I'm going to allow it to be one of my favorite songs for now.

Lookie what I bought today!

2008 Saturn Aura

When you're sick and tired of paying $4.13 a gallon for gas...you pull ahead 3 months on your lease and trade in your gas guzzling SUV for a little car that gets 30mpg on the highway. I'm sure gonna miss my Envoy, but I won't miss the high price to pay for all that room.

...now you realize all 7 of us will never ride all together again? *sniff. It was like closing a chapter in my life...no more mommy-mobile. I just hope we can fit 2 hockey bags and 4 hockey sticks in the trunk.

We Interrupt this regularly scheduled blog...

Coldplay...Viva la Vida

...Okay people...seriously-this is INSANE!

I have spent the first hour of my morning listening to this song. I heard it a few days ago advertised on tv during the Stanley Cup playoffs. I am on a mission to try and decipher the lyrics. I love, love, love the song, but I can't crack the code. And it appears that I'm not the only one who wants to know. INQUIRING MINDS want to know. What's it all about, Alphie?

Coldplay Viva la Vida lyrics:

I used to rule the world

Seas would rise when I gave the word

Now in the morning I sweep alone

Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice

Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes

Listen as the crowd would sing:

"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key

Next the walls were closed on me

And I discovered that my castles stand

Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing

Roman Cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

Once you go there was never, never an honest word

That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind

Blew down the doors to let me in.

Shattered windows and the sound of drums

People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries waitFor my head on a silver plate

Just a puppet on a lonely string

Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing

Roman Cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

I know Saint Peter will call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing

Roman Cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

I know Saint Peter will call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world

...So I dedicated my entire post today, my contemplative, thoughtful mind, to figuring out the meaning of a freakin' song?

Yes, you heard me right. Thank you for bearing with me and my NEED TO KNOW moment.

I'm going to dig into it and see what I come up with. I am convinced it has something to do with Christianity and I'd like to think it's a good message, not a bad one. I'll letcha know what I find.

Anyone have any ideas of their own?

...in the meantime, I'm gonna crank up the speakers and clean something.

What is he thinking?

Why, oh why...(when life is already crazy enough)...does dear husband call me this morning to proclaim we have a realtor coming over on SATURDAY to do a market analysis on our house? OMG!!! What is he thinking? I am NOT ready to even wrap my twisted train wreck of a mind around moving right now, not to mention getting my house prepared to have someone come and look at it with a discerning eye. I am paralyzed at the thought. Throw in the fact that I'm bordering on psychotic hormonally and you've got a fight in the making. Was I supposed to gleefully profess, "oh honey, I'd be glad to runaroundlikeachickenwithmyheadcutoff in order to be ready by Saturday?" I wanted to rip his head off. (If you're reading this... sorry dear, I did.) Is this his way of getting the house cleaned?

I'll admit, since all of this drama, I've been less than stellar in the housework department. I've been mentally burnt out, probably teetering on mildly depressed...but I'm working on it. I'm trying to find joy in simple things, being satisfied with what I've got, taking great pleasure in knowing that "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven". (Eccl. 3:1)
But hey- don't rush me along here... I'm a work in progress.

I just got a phonecall from daughter #2. It seems she wants me to come with her out to the "Flats" to take some outdoorsy photographs for her class. Basically, she admitted that she's afraid to go out there alone and wanted a companion (aka bodyguard). I was planning on looking at new cars today, but I decided maybe a little fresh air and a walk in the woods might do me good. Maybe I'll even take a few pictures of my own.

only in Michigan

I tell you, people... the weather in Michigan is absolutely unpredictable. I'm sitting here with a mild sunburn from a beautiful, balmy Memorial Day covered up in a sweatshirt, long pants and socks. It's downright frigid out there and I refuse.to.turn.on.the.heat. I walked my 3 miles this morning and I swear I had windburn on top of my sunburn. Yes, there's even a frost freeze warning tonight. Aha! I inwardly laugh at all those organized anal rententive gardeners who put all their plants in 2 wks. early to "get a jump" on us slackers. Yes, you heard me right- I am silently gloating at the notion of a May frost wiping out their crops. It must be hormonal...I'm not usually this bitchy.(just don't ask my husband or kids for confirmation.)

Is it no wonder that I have that Alanis Morissette song playing in my head right now? (I'm a BITCH, yada, yada)

I think I have to offer up the computer right now to the child who forgets to do his homework.
In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger... "I'll be back".

All I want is a simple life

(I just wanted to say this is not me hanging clothes, but I'd swear that chick was hanging her clothes on my clothesline! I just want to know how they got on my roof to take that picture without my knowledge?)

Well, things are finally starting to settle down a bit around here. Everyone has returned to their own beds, bedding has been washed and hung to dry. Ryan returned back to his house and is trying to resume his life...of course, with one little glitch. (the fact that he can't drive) He's still pretty crabby about that and the fact that his entire summer will be spent on crutches, but I keep pointing out the fact that it could have been worse.

I'm still waiting for the pictures that Jen took at the studio the other day so I can post them. I forgot to take a "before" picture of the end table I picked up at a garage sale. It looks pretty awesome now that I painted it. I will post pictures when she sends them to my inbox. She's a pretty busy gal these days, ya know.

Speaking of my "inbox"...I got an email from one of Jacob's teachers saying that he was caught cheating on his homework assignment in study hall. Yep, the only one of my kids that wasn't in "crisis" somehow forgot to do his homework on the book, Great Expectations, and didn't realize it until the hour before class. It's not typical behavior of Jake, but I guess we all have lapses in judgement every now and then. Well all I can say is that he's darn lucky the teacher only failed him on the 30 point assignment and didn't turn him in on academic dishonesty. Needless to say, I emailed the teacher back and thanked her for calling it to my attention. Jacob was given an extra assignment (by me) entitled "Great Expectations", outlining the expectations that are placed on him by God, parents, teachers, and himself and the importance of honesty and integrity. He will turn it in to the teacher on Tuesday. We told him he was not allowed to play video games until the end of the school year and was not allowed to work out unless all of his homework is completely done first. *sigh. I just never expected something like this from him. I had a long talk with him and I am confident he won't be pulling something like this again.

Today Pat and Josh went and hauled a few loads of compost for my garden. I'm so excited to get it planted. I'll probably do it one day this week since the weather just hasn't been all that warm yet. The nights still seem so cold.

I spent a semi-lazy day on the deck, folding laundry, cutting up apples and rhubarb for an apple/rhubarb crisp, catching some rays and chatting with Pat over coffee...I made us lunch and we ate on the deck just the two of us.

I've been hanging all my clothes (except for socks) on the line in an attempt to keep down the power bill. It's actually quite cathartic. I love the smell of clothes hung on the line...I love to contemplate life while I mindlessly pin each piece on the line ...I love how the breeze blows them back in my face and how the dog patiently waits at my feet while I finish the task. Oh, the simple things in life that excite me. It just seems like such a long time since I've taken a moment to enjoy something so simple.

I'd like to end on a random quote I found:

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie ~ Tenneva Jordan

Geesh, I guess my secret's out.

Where did this week go?

Wow...I can't believe it's already Thursday today...where has the time gone?

I spent all day Tuesday doing hair appointments and was exhausted. Poor Ryan said "the service in this place really sucked today"... I was so busy with other stuff...his ice was all melted, he was behind on his med schedule, he had to wait for food...tsk, tsk. I never said I was going to be a good nurse.

Wednesday Jen and I spent the day painting at the studio. Before we left, we set Ryan up with dvd's and video games...I made him a huge breakfast, stocked the fridge with broccoli/chicken alfredo and some chocolate pudding for lunch, loaded him up with snacks, gum, telephones and remotes, and Jen and I were on our merry way. Neither one of us felt like painting but it had to be finished. She wants to be up and running by the beginning of June...which is a few short weeks away. It's exciting and scary all rolled into one. I give her a lot of credit. She's a gutsy bugger.

Josh slept from the minute he walked in the door yesterday , woke up to eat something and went back to bed. Of course he neglected to do his homework so he had to stay home from school this morning to finish it. Ugh. I hate when that happens. I suppose the latest girlfriend drama has taken a lot out of him...it sure is nice for him to have time of his own again though. Maybe catching up on his sleep was just what he needed.

We were on the road to Ann Arbor by 8:30 this morning for Ryan's follow up appointment. Jordanne called and was in tears because her plastic surgeon won't be touching the scar on her forehead (from the Aug. 9th car accident) until after her wedding. She was really hoping they'd be doing it soon. I really don't know why they are waiting so long. I don't even see it when I look at her, but she sees it and in her eyes, it's unacceptable.

Ryan won't be able to drive until late June, but he gets his stitches out next week and starts physical therapy. He's allowed to shower and go to work tomorrow if he keeps his foot elevated. Sigh. I guess he's 15 again...and with gas at $4.00 a gallon I'd better get a smaller car if I'm going to be chauffering him around for the next month.

I got the mail yesterday and I swear it was Ryan's day of answered prayers. He got some cards from grandma and great grandma with a lot of money in them. (thanks mom...you are way too generous!) He was in total shock. He also got a $200 scholarship awarded to him and a $160 grass cutting check ALL IN ONE DAY!!! He was so blown away at the timing and provisions of God.


We got a call from Josh while we were in the doctor's office. He was all excited because XXXX Pools called him and offered him a job. Two weeks ago (when the girlfriend drama was in full force) I sent him a text message that XXXX Pools was hiring. He went and filled out an application, took the test and passed with flying colors. They were surprised that he was only a high school student. They were looking for a college guy to fill the position. They thanked him for applying but pretty much gave him the impression he was too young. After reviewing the applications, they decided he was the biggest and the strongest applicant for the job. He will be driving their truck and delivering pool chemicals. He's so excited to be able to get a good work out while working. It was so nice to see him excited about something again. (Thank you, Jesus!)

This week has been filled with so many blessings and answered prayers. I'm humbled beyond words.

Musical beds

Ryan is doing so much better today...he even told me he was going to cut the grass today. Um...no I don't think so, son. He is definitely getting antsy to get back on his feet. (literally) We took the dressing off his knee to change it. I'm not gonna lie...we were both a little queasy anticipating what lurked underneath the bandages. I must admit I was pleasantly surprised to see very little blood and really no gore to speak of. There were 4 incisions (one about 6 inches long) with neat rows of steri strips holding the skin together. What a beautiful job Dr. Sekiya did...no wonder he was so excited about his work... it. was. beautiful.

Ryan's buddy John stopped over tonight and they went out on the deck for some cool fresh air. Ryan took a little walk (on his crutches) around in the yard. I think he over did it because after John left, he looked a little wiped out. (must have been all that Oxycodone) He retired back to the bedroom where Jake hooked him up with some "vids" on the X-box. Jake thought it was pretty cool to camp out with his big bro two nights in a row. (Josh did the previous 2 nights) We're playing a fun little game of musical beds. Pat and I slept on upstairs/downstairs couches the first night...then he slept in Josh's bed, I slept in Jen's two nights (she was in Chicago) Jake slept with Ryan so Pat slept in his bed (2 nights) and tonight I'm back on the couch. This gang really knows how to rock out some excitement.

I think the sleeping arrangements will resume back to normal tomorrow. I sure hope the sun is shining because I think I'm gonna have a lot of sheets to hang on the line.

Brain drain-o

Brain drain. Ever feel it? You know...one of those days when your head literally hurts just thinking about the simplest of things? My head is chugged full of gunk that needs a good healthy dose of Brain Draino. Call it mental exhaustion... which is equally as draining as physical exhaustion...but harder to recover from. Especially if it has been going on for nearly a month.

So today, being Sunday...I'm trying to rest my mind by casting all my cares upon the Lord. The problem is...there has been so many things that have been neglected (housework, paperwork, projects, etc.) that my mind won't give me rest until I get up and do something...so I decided I would paint a few of my pieces out in the garage. It may be cathartic to tackle something as mindless as painting an old garage sale find I picked up for Jen's studio. Doing something nice for my daughter might just be what the doctor ordered.

...Either that or a bottle of LEXAPRO.

Sunday word of wisdom:

Psalm 55:22

Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you.

The past few days

(FYI: crooked scan job is Jordanne's fault) Screw holding the head of the fibula back on.

the mess inside the ACL ? (makes no sense to me) The Postero Lateral Corner reconstruction and allograft. The purple cabbage looking thing is the cadaver's tendon. (thank you donor whoever you were.) click on the pictures for an "up close and personal" view.

...the past few days have been a bit crazy...just dealing with life in a busy house. Thursday morning Jennifer left for Chicago on the train. She sent me a text message from Chicago:
Interesting things I've seen today: a child on a leash, men eating lunch on a scaffold, a black man with blue eyes, and gas at $4.40/gallon.

Jordanne and Dustin have been working a lot to save money for their upcoming wedding next July. Everyone at Victoria's Secret has been sick with some nasty stomach flu and poor Jordy ended up with it. (I sure hope it skips over the rest of the family)

The ongoing bf/gf saga seems to be resolving itself with lots of love and patience and proper guidance. LOVE IS RESPECT.

Jacob has discovered a new love: Working out. He is sculpting his still growing body with rippling muscles and hard work. That kid is going to be a 6'3" beast by the time football season starts. Ryan has put together a football workout regimine for his brothers and undoubtedly the work will pay off.

Friday morning we awoke at 4 am and were on the road heading to Ann Arbor by 5 am. Ryan had to arrive at U of M ambulatory care by 6:30 for his extensive reconstructive knee surgery. (which was scheduled for 7:30 am) After a 3 1/2 hour surgery, the doctor popped into the waiting room to excitedly proclaim we were the proud parents of a new knee. (just kidding...but he was excited) He was very pleased with how the surgery went and that it was a success. (phew). However, in recovery, they could not control Ryan's pain after giving him oxcodone, morphine and Demerol. (can they even do that?) They proceeded with a femoral nerve block which completely deadened his leg so the pain was more manageable. I guess it will last 12-24 hours but it sort of scared Ryan because he cannot feel his leg. He was discharged by 3:30 and we were on the road with a very hungry, agitated and aggravated young man.

We let him sleep in our bed last night (with brother Josh to keep an eye on him). I've been busy playing nurse, changing ice, dispensing meds, bringing meals and drinks and assisting with his CPM machine. (this is a machine to move his knee so it won't stiffen up). Remember, he has a cadaver tendon that was reconstructed into a new ACL. He has a long metal pin that fastened the fibula head back on. The pictures are fascinating but really look quite confusing to me.

It's going to be a long week for him since he cannot shower (hello, sponge bath) drive, or work. He will probably go back to his place after a few days when he can get up and around a bit more on his own. We have a follow up appointment on Thursday.

It's been raining the past few days

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter

Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... (x4)

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting

Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right It's all right

You might wonder why I'm singing, "Here comes the Sun" when it's actually been raining off and on the past few days? Well, this morning I woke up with a feeling as though we finally broke through. ("The fervent effectual prayer of a righteous man availeth much.")

...Hopefully the voice of reason will prevail. It's been weighing so heavily on my mind...I felt depleted of joy and then the words of Paul McCartney popped into my head..."Here comes the Sun"...

I dunno...do ya think God talks to us through the voice of the Beatles?

why do I blog?

My youngest son asked me one day, "Mom, why do you have a blog?"

I told him it's because I want to capture the small simple things that happen in life that I know I will forget one day. The moment is now. If I jot it down in cyberspace, one day we all can look back on my "memoirs" and see growth emerging from the words in my blog. (let's hope, anyways).

As a mother of five kids pretty close in age, I just never had the luxury of sitting down, writing in a baby book or a journal. My days were a blur of diapers and laundry and playdoh, snacktimes and storytimes. Like it or not...I was that absorbed in my children's lives as a stay at home mom (sahm). When I look back on those years, it's all a blur. I'm so thankful that my kids remind me of all the fun things we used to do...because I have no documentation of it all.

I'm not gonna lie...I kind of miss that lady. The one who used to sew matching outfits for the kids at Christmas, make homemade playdoh, have children's craft time and mom's group. Where oh where did she go?

I can recall a time when we were so broke we couldn't afford to replace our coffee maker. I swear for an entire year I made coffee by boiling water on the stove and pouring it over a strainer with a coffee filter and coffee in it. (mind you, I even recycled the coffee filters to save money). One time our toaster broke so I had to make toast in the oven for months before I found a cheap one to replace it...the microwave broke so we went without one for an entire year (can you imagine life without a microwave?) only to discover it was a $2 part that Pat had to replace. I recycled my ziplock bags and used cloth napkins and cloth diapers and learned (as a young mother) how to live on a tight budget before recycling was the "in thing"...but I digress. Those are all random blatherings to point out the fact that I need to blog these moments now...so we don't forget where we've been.

So let me ask you...why do you blog?

another milestone

Artistic self portrait of Jacob.

Well, it's official. Jacob, the youngest of my kids was just signed up for driver's education today. This is a momentous, bittersweet occasion mixed with a plethora of emotions. I feel like I felt the day he graduated 8th grade (the last of my kids at that school). It's like finishing another chapter in my life's novel. Hard to believe he'll already be 16 in November...my baby. *sniff.

I am holding on tighter than ever to this man-child who now towers over me at 6'3". He's such a great kid, so kind and gentle and respectful... but begging for a cellphone ..."like all the other kids, mom"... I just haven't figured out how on earth I can fit one more phone on my plan. I'm just trying to buy some time here... One thing I know for sure...text messaging is the devil. I just had to totally remove it off one phone because it was being abused. I'm glad I didn't have to wipe it off all the phones because it wasn't fair to those not abusing it.

My heart hurts today. I spilled my guts in a heart-wrenching letter to Josh explaining the meaning of true love. This is an excerpt from that letter:

Do you want the REAL definition of “true love?”

True love gives birth to a child and brings them into this world and teaches and guides and protects them from harm. True love gets up with screaming babies, fevers and tummy aches. True love agonizes over skinned shins and scraped elbows and broken bones. True love walks their kid to their first day of kindergarten and cries all the way home. True love defends their child and goes to bat for their child and looks out for their child; protects their child. True love prays over their child and agonizes to God over every mistake they make. True love hurts.so.much.that.you.cannot.breathe. when you see your child being mistreated. True love does not control. True love disciplines. True love guides. The truest love of all is parenting your child and teaching them how to recognize true love. True love is not self-serving…it’s wanting the best for that person by providing the best that we have to offer.

*sigh. It sure hurts to pour yourself into a letter, unsure of how well it will be received.

HINT, HINT

Wondering what nice thing you can do for mom today?

Happy Mother's Day!

I talked to my mom yesterday afternoon, telling her the details of our crazy life...being pulled in so many directions, the exciting things going on, the worries over our kids, etc. Even though I totally unloaded on her (and yes, I even cried) I was so humbled to think...at one time I probably made her feel that way (once or twice) during my teen years. So then I told her I'm sorry for everything I ever did to cause her grief and thanked her for being such a great mom...so Mom, if you're reading this...I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY! ...and thank you for being such a wonderful role model of motherhood.

I woke up this morning with the sweetest words of appreciation from Pat... telling me how thankful he was to have found such a wonderful woman to be the mother of his children. He brought me in a cup of coffee and then made me breakfast. (anyone who knows him, knows he doesn't cook so this really meant a lot to me.) He put in a load of laundry and told me to go and sit down. What a dear, sweet man I married.

What a rollercoaster of emotions I've been on lately. Do you think it's hormonal? I'm only 44...and I'm NOT PMS right now. I might be asking the doctor about that one. I think I'm just experiencing the realization that my kids are growing up and I have no way to s.l.o.w. things down. So today I'm just going to savor the day...livin' in the moment.

I know it's not a special holiday...but I stuffed a turkey and cooked it up last night. I just happened to have one in the freezer and I had taken it out last week to thaw in the refrigerator. I know Mother's Day is supposed to give Mom a day off, but I just couldn't help myself.

So I'm savoring the moment right now... watching my two grown daughters peeling potatoes and dancing in the kitchen listening to the Jungle Book song. Yes, there is snorting and giggling and very animated faces going on right now... and suddenly they break out into a pom routine. It's gonna be a great day.

Happy Mother's Day!

crazy week

I use this blog to help me sort out the happenings in my life...it chronicles growth. So if you are one of my kids reading this...please see this through my eyes. Humor me, it's Mother's Day weekend.

Let me just say...When one of your children is hurting...you do everything in your power to try and comfort them. There is no love as powerful and moving as a mother's love for her child(ren). That being said...there is also something called "a mother-bear instinct" that illicits the most territorial aggression towards the person who is trying to cause harm... whether it's physical, psychological, or emotional harm. If someone messes with one of my precious litter, I'm ready to pounce.

Teenage hearts and minds are so fragile. They are just experiencing young puppy love. I'm not minimalizing it...but looking back we realize how big it seemed then and how small it is now. Needless to say...We learn from those experiences, we laugh, we cry, we move on...

I just could never understand those girls who always felt the need to control the relationship by telling the guy when (and IF) he could see his friends, when he had to take her places, buy me this, take me here, etc. You know the type...the Jump-to-my- every-whim kind of girls. We had nicknames for guys like that...they were "P.W.'ed" I couldn't stand milk toast guys like that...still can't.

Now of course, I was never that kind of girl...as a matter of fact, I always liked a take -charge kind of guy. Not in an overbearing, controlling kind of way...just a man who knew what he wanted and made a decision. He was very protective of me, cherished me, and provided for me the best he could give. (of course, I'm speaking of the man I married) He continues to be that kind of man...it's a safe, comforting feeling that I cherish. (my dad, by the way, was the same kind of guy.)

We have taught our girls to respect themselves and their boyfriends. We have taught our boys to respect themselves and to respect women. It is our job as parents to point out and guide them, teaching them how to love by being loved, how to have a healthy relationship, by modeling a healthy relationship, how to resolve conflict by how we resolve conflict.

I know for a fact that I do not control my husband, nor do I hit him, play mind games with him...(and vice versa) yet for some reason we started seeing this emerging in a teenage relationship that disturbed us. I watched my son changing before my eyes. A once very sports minded young man now losing all his drive and desire to do the things he once loved to do. He started rearranging his schedule to accommodate more and more time for his girlfriend. It was bizarre coming from him. He had a dream to play college football but no drive to get there. Without going into details...the relationship ended this week. a few times...but it's for the good of both involved. I just hope he finally realizes he deserves to be cherished and not treated like a boy toy, led around and controlled by a girl. It's just not healthy and I wasn't going to sit back and watch it happen to my son.

*Unfortunately sometimes that mother-bear instinct is not appreciated or understood by little bear until little bear is a mother or father bear of their own....do ya know what I mean?

So (gulp) I guess I won't be getting the "Mother of the Year" award this year.

The latest

Well the appointment went well at the U of M this afternoon. The doctor was most impressive and very encouraging regarding Ryan's future in sports. Dr. Sekiya will be doing the very complicated surgery on either Wednesday or Friday of next week. It was a huge weight off our shoulders to hear him being so optimistic and confident on the outcome. I know it was a direct result of God working in this situation.

I just had a long talk with Ryan about how God works in these situations to teach us things, to grow, and learn character building. Ryan said, "but mom, how much can I take? What good is going to come out of this?"

Taken off guard...I just said, "oh, I don't know...maybe you'll meet the woman of your dreams, fall in love, and get married all as a result of this knee injury..." We both had a good chuckle and lightened the mood.

The funny thing is that when we went to eat at Friday's in Brighton our waitress (adorable very personable girl) was obviously flirting with Ryan. Pat told the girl that Ryan was a football player and a recent MSU grad. (total bullshit story) The girl was like, "Really?" Ryan went with the story...

We got to chatting with the girl, she asked where we lived, and she was like, "Ohmygosh!!! I'm moving there this summer because I'm going to the University there!" (same university where my kids really go.) Ironic? (hmmm, just wondering if this was fate?) Who knows...maybe they will meet up on campus some day? Too bad he went with the MSU bullshit story...

anyways...here's Jen's recent progress update:


This is the front of the studio before:

...and this is the studio after a few fresh coats of awning red.

...and this is dear Jen in her "emo" self portrait...being a ham. Oh those artist types.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well tomorrow Ryan, Pat, and I will be heading to Ann Arbor to see this doctor at the University of Michigan hospital. It seems he has some pretty impressive credentials. (actually the bio only goes up to '06...he is currently practicing at the U of M and comes highly recommended by the knee guru in Pittsburgh.) Ryan is so ready to get this surgery underway. He just finished his last exam today and felt it was most difficult. Let's just hope he did well enough to pass the class.

I'm exhausted in mind and body and the thought of my cozy bed sounds pretty appealing...gonna hit the hay in about 10 minutes.

Duke the Bunny Hunter

How cute is my puppy?

The doctor appointment on Friday has left me feeling uneasy. The orthopedic surgeon (who is an amazing man without a huge ego or God-complex) told us that the complications of this knee injury has made him decide to refer Ryan to a top knee "guru" who deals with these kind of severe sports injuries all the time. He called the Detroit Lions' top docs and they said they refer their complicated knee injuries to some doctor in Pittsburgh. The sports trainer at our doc's office has been making phone calls to the specialists and is dealing with our insurance so we can get Ryan scheduled immediately.

So far I've heard nothing since it's the weekend, but Ryan said they called him and mentioned something about sending him to a doctor (who trained under that Pittsburgh doctor) who works at the U of M hospital. I was not impressed with U of M when I had to go there but then again, I did not see a knee surgeon. I am trying to put it in God's hands but I'm being a worrisome mom again. There's just so much that can go wrong with a surgery like this and it makes.me.sick. when I think about it. I just cannot express how thankful we are that the peroneal nerve is still intact. This could have cost him the use of his leg if it was damaged. Surgery could still damage it and that is a chance we have to take because it has to be repaired it will not heal on its own. I'm just waiting through this weekend to find out when and where the surgery will take place.

In the meantime, I'm trying to busy my mind and body...doing little projects, laundry, cooking, shopping, etc... I am strung as tight as a piano wire. Sometimes gathering information can backfire on you...I did some digging around on the internet and I found more information than I cared to read. It has left me feeling queasy and uneasy. I just have to remember to "plop it in God' s lap".

Okay...so my posts have been beginning to sound like a medical blog...for that I apologize. I'm a mom who worries and as I've said before...Me and God are working on that...

...so I will end this post on a funny dog story.

Today there were several large bunnies hopping around in our back yard. My dog happens to love bunnies because they are just about his size. Well Josh saw the bunnies and decided to let Duke out to have fun chasing them. The bunnies scattered in several directions and found their escape holes in our fence...all but one fat bunny. (must have been pregnant) She got stuck halfway in the escape hole and Duke was biting at her back end and was gnawing on her leg. Josh grabbed the dog and ran in the house to get some wirecutters. He cut the fence so the fat bunny could get through....so the Elvis song has been stuck in my head ever since.

"you ain't nothing but a hound dog, cryin' all the time...you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine."

Well folks, Duke is obviously not a hound dog...but I didn't know Lhasa Apsos were hunting dogs.

The Dukester is a bunny hunter.

MRI findings

...well, the MRI showed that he blew EVERYTHING out in his knee except for the PCL and MCL. He will now have to have 2 surgeries to correct all the damage. We meet with the orthopedic surgeon on Friday morning to discuss the course of action, although he called me at home last night to tell me what he found.

There's something called the posterolateral corner which contains seven or eight structures. The surgeon needs to reconstruct this area as well as screw the head of the fibula back on.
These structures are:
1. Fibular collateral ligament
2. Biceps femoris muscle and tendon.
3. Popliteal tendon

He told me there is severe bone bruising along with the head of the fibula being broken off. The ACL is blown out and needs to be repaired also. This will have to be done in the second surgery.They have to stabilize the knee first before repairing the internal part of the knee. He told me his prognosis is pretty good, although rugby, and any contact sports would probably not be in his future.

Please keep him in your prayers. He is pretty bummed out. It's been a rough year for him from severe mono last year at this time, losing a ton of weight, having to gain it all back for football, training to get back in shape for football, then in September making the decision to quit football after all those years of hard work and committment, the emotional loss over that decision...he was just coming out of that funk...having so much fun playing rugby...this was going to be his year to get back on top of things...and now, this.
What's that saying,
"That which does not kill me, makes me stronger."???