crazy week

I use this blog to help me sort out the happenings in my life...it chronicles growth. So if you are one of my kids reading this...please see this through my eyes. Humor me, it's Mother's Day weekend.

Let me just say...When one of your children is hurting...you do everything in your power to try and comfort them. There is no love as powerful and moving as a mother's love for her child(ren). That being said...there is also something called "a mother-bear instinct" that illicits the most territorial aggression towards the person who is trying to cause harm... whether it's physical, psychological, or emotional harm. If someone messes with one of my precious litter, I'm ready to pounce.

Teenage hearts and minds are so fragile. They are just experiencing young puppy love. I'm not minimalizing it...but looking back we realize how big it seemed then and how small it is now. Needless to say...We learn from those experiences, we laugh, we cry, we move on...

I just could never understand those girls who always felt the need to control the relationship by telling the guy when (and IF) he could see his friends, when he had to take her places, buy me this, take me here, etc. You know the type...the Jump-to-my- every-whim kind of girls. We had nicknames for guys like that...they were "P.W.'ed" I couldn't stand milk toast guys like that...still can't.

Now of course, I was never that kind of girl...as a matter of fact, I always liked a take -charge kind of guy. Not in an overbearing, controlling kind of way...just a man who knew what he wanted and made a decision. He was very protective of me, cherished me, and provided for me the best he could give. (of course, I'm speaking of the man I married) He continues to be that kind of man...it's a safe, comforting feeling that I cherish. (my dad, by the way, was the same kind of guy.)

We have taught our girls to respect themselves and their boyfriends. We have taught our boys to respect themselves and to respect women. It is our job as parents to point out and guide them, teaching them how to love by being loved, how to have a healthy relationship, by modeling a healthy relationship, how to resolve conflict by how we resolve conflict.

I know for a fact that I do not control my husband, nor do I hit him, play mind games with him...(and vice versa) yet for some reason we started seeing this emerging in a teenage relationship that disturbed us. I watched my son changing before my eyes. A once very sports minded young man now losing all his drive and desire to do the things he once loved to do. He started rearranging his schedule to accommodate more and more time for his girlfriend. It was bizarre coming from him. He had a dream to play college football but no drive to get there. Without going into details...the relationship ended this week. a few times...but it's for the good of both involved. I just hope he finally realizes he deserves to be cherished and not treated like a boy toy, led around and controlled by a girl. It's just not healthy and I wasn't going to sit back and watch it happen to my son.

*Unfortunately sometimes that mother-bear instinct is not appreciated or understood by little bear until little bear is a mother or father bear of their own....do ya know what I mean?

So (gulp) I guess I won't be getting the "Mother of the Year" award this year.